The Boss says I need to get used to it. Queenie just has to beat me at just about everything. I'm getting sick of it.
Now, I might be a wee bit clumsy and imprecise about a few things - like running into the Missus when I'm chasing a ball or hitting a fence post at high speed in my enthusiasm - but I deal with it.
A bit of a yelp, some blood here and there, another visit to the Vet (love those liver treats!) but I like to live in the moment. The Boss says I am present. He doesn't always say it in a nice tone of voice but that's just because he can't do it himself.
And so I can hit Queenie on the run when I'm in a hurry - or maybe when I'm pretending not to see her. She's tough, my Mum, so she'll never yelp the way I do but I can get a deep grunt out of her when I take her breath away and that, in itself, is quite satisfying.
Trouble is, there's a price to pay. She'll lie in wait until I come over to see if she has any new smells and act like she's tired or something. So I nudge her and roll her over and CRUNCH! She sinks her teeth into my ear like she wants to cut big holes in it.
Like, you shouldn't treat your favourite son like that. But she's always on my case. For instance, when The Boss tosses me a ball or dummy out in the paddock and I'm tearing off like a hare after it, I don't always get the trajectory right - Queenie has to get there first, pointing her nose at it, lying on the ground, like I'm stupid or something.
I mean, I can outrun her easily. So what if I don't always do it in a straight line? Well, you can't do that when you're keen - straight lines are boring.
And when I'm up for a play and a bit of fun, she's always hanging around the ruck like an under-sized rover, watching out for the slip-up by the Champion. Waiting for the chance to show me up.
This is what happened yesterday on the river. It's a high river at the moment - they have an environmental flow going down and there's quite a current, so it's flooded the island in the middle and you need to judge it properly if you want to collect your retrieve efficiently.
So The Boss tosses MY ball out there and I head for it - but Queenie straight away runs downriver along the bank - cheating! - jumps in and gets there before me. Then she has to run up this log to show the world before I even get there!
Its like I'll never be good enough.
The Boss tells me I won't - so I might as well relax. He's getting on a bit, The Boss, and he knows these things. He says every 80 year-old mother looks at her 60 year-old son, still hoping for signs of promise! Woof.