Country News

So who’s really Top Dog?

By The General

So the humans in government spent the whole of last week arguing about who should be Top Dog.

The Boss was clearly annoyed by what he thought was a huge waste of time and it was all about the dogs, rather than everybody they were supposed to be looking after.

I wasn't surprised myself. Humans take a long time to do simple things that dogs can work out in a flash, without wasting all the energy.

Dogs take a few minutes to work it out and then they get on with the play.

It is always necessary to have a Top Dog or things get out of hand but, once it's worked out, dogs get on with having fun, which is much more important.

The Boss says the problem was that they didn't know who was really Top Dog - or they thought they knew but they couldn't count. It turns out that they lost the real Top Dog that all the little dogs liked and ended up with a second-rate dog which will lose them the whole show.

We dogs are different, in that we all unite in search of the main game, which is food. The human parliamentary dogs seem to forget the main game - at least The Boss thinks so - and just keep nipping each other on the ear and growling and scuffling until they get kicked out of the yard.

I mean, it's okay to have a little skirmish now and then - this is what happens when a dog decides to mix it with a cat:

The Boss likes this comparison, because he doesn't like cats much - reckons they are sneaky and can't be trusted. He reckons they will jump up on his lap instead of doing it to people around the table who actually like cats and it drives him nuts. Reckons they do it deliberately, pretending that they like him but being ready to tear into him with their claws.

Anyway, it sounds like some of the parliamentary dogs mistook the untrustworthy cat for a dog and it all ended up in a mess. The cat went off to lick its wounds but not before it took a bit of skin off the dogs.

The Boss reckons the whole pack of dogs are now disgruntled and uneasy and they are going to be difficult to handle.

He's not sure it can be fixed by the new Top Dog, who isn't really accepted by all the other dogs. Might have to get rid of the whole pack and start again. Woof!