I had a most unpleasant experience a week or so back and I need to tell you about it.
The Boss doesn't seem to care and nobody else is interested, so I am feeling discriminated against. Like, I'm a victim.
You see, we were on a long-ish weekend walk downriver, over where the horse paddocks run up against the floodplain. In the winter time, the horses get down there for protection from the weather and they'll often be near the fence when we go past.
Naturally, I like to stir them up whenever The Boss isn't looking. He yells a lot if he spots me getting ready to terrorise the horses - reckons they're all race horses and flighty and they'll either injure themselves or send me flying with a well-aimed kick.
I'm too good to cop a kick, I reckon. Although I've noticed my Mum, Queenie, keeps a wide berth so she might know something I don't.
Anyway, these two young horses came cantering over to the fence to see what we were up to and - just on instinct you know - I tore off straight towards them, which usually frightens the living daylights out of them so they gallop away. The Boss was yelling at me but it was too late. I've done the job, had my fun and so I veer off into the bush to keep out of his way.
We take a swim when we reach the big sand bar; we Chessies have an oily kind of coat so we don't feel the cold much and it's good to freshen up. But then, I didn't know the water makes a good conductor.
On the way back, the horses came over again and, before The Boss could gather his wits, I'm straight at 'em - although this time there's this almighty shivering pain down my back as I hurtle under the fence. Fairly knocked me over, yelping, it did.
I'm looking at The Boss, who's yelling at me and shaking his finger - so I figure he did it, whatever it was. It hurt, a lot. I never thought he'd be that mean to me. Then he starts laughing.
Now, this is a bit embarrassing but I couldn't get it out of my mind that The Boss did it. So I stuck close to him for the next week to make sure he wouldn't do anything like that again.
He kept telling me to nick off and have a run but I couldn't quite trust him, you know? I might have driven him slightly crazy because he started lecturing me:
"General, when I want you to heel, you pretend you're deaf. But when I want you to get some exercise, you hang around at heel, like a bad smell!"
The next weekend we went back along the same walk and he kept pointing to this electric fence right down low. "That's what stung you, son," he says. But hey, it doesn't look like it's going to hurt now, does it? I can't be sure he isn't blaming it on this piece of wire instead of owning up to his nastiness.
So you can probably tell I haven't quite gotten over it. The Boss reckons I'm not only a wimp but I'm stupid as well, so it hasn't been easy going for me.
I've had to seek solace in videos showing other dogs having an epic fail as well. It's the only thing that makes me feel better. Woof.