The Boss's Dog

I Luv Facebook.

By The General

Facebook has been copping it lately - all for the wrong reasons, in my opinion.

The Boss reckons they have been more concerned with making huge amounts of money than looking after customers' information.

In fact, he says, they've been encouraging customers to load up all sorts of stuff about themselves so Facebook can sell it to people who want to sell things to them. And not telling people about it.

He told me: "If they are giving it away for free, General, YOU are the product."

But, being smarter than the Boss, I know in me bones that is the point. I WANT everyone to know what I like, so they can offer me more of it. 

I heard him telling the Missus the other day that the Facebook algorithm can figure out everything important about you by checking out all your "Likes." After looking at just 17 of your Likes, Facebook knows more about you than your average work colleague.  

That doesn't surprise me. I would put the Golden Leave-it-There in that category. Although he's entirely useless and doesn't do any work at all. 

Then, the research shows that, once the algorithm sees around 100 of your Likes, Facebook knows more about what kind of dog you really are than your siblings do. 

The Boss sold off all my siblings so I can't ask them, but sometimes they come to visit. They smell alright to me anyway - and I can tell a lot about where they've been, what they've been eating and who they've been patted by - just with a once-over sniff. I guess I don't need an algorithm to tell me. But it wouldn't hurt just to confirm. 

Then, after looking at 300 Likes, the algorithm knows more about you than your spouse, so The Boss says. I don't have a spouse yet, but you might put Queenie, my mum, into this category. She knows what I'm thinking before I do it, and nips me on the ear to try and stop me doing it. For the Boss it's the Missus: I haven't seen her nipping him on the ear lately but he must be getting nervous about the algorithm moving in.

He says the research suggests that people tend to tell Facebook - with their Likes - stuff they might not say to their spouse, siblings or workmates. People just hit the button when it appeals, without thinking of it. So they might admit to liking Melania Trump, or beetroot, or  an axe-murderer, or liking Hard Quiz, when they wouldn't actually say that to anybody. So Facebook ends up knowing the real you.

Which is a good thing. I want everyone to know the real me so they don't mess about, putting silly flowers on my collar or washing me when I don't need it.

The Boss reckons Facebook would know me inside out after looking at just three Likes. They would be balls, food and pats, in that order, he says. He reckons that's all there is to me. 

Which is a bit unfair. But not that unfair. Woof.