The Boss's Dog

Year of the Dogburger

By The General

There were dog burgers galore at last week's Yulin Dog Meat Festival in Yulin, Guangxi Province - a feast of dogs more or less like me, that starts every year on the solstice and runs for a week.

Except it's the summer solstice, up there in China, so the heady scent of searing dog meat must waft through the warm and fetid air - a bit like snags on The Boss's barbecue on New Year's Day. 

It's a big show. This year there was an effort, The Boss says, by the Humane Society International and and others to mount a campaign against it happening but the festival went on as usual and the odds of ever stopping it are poor.

According to the HSI, around 10 million dogs are barbecued in China every year. The Boss reckons no-one in their right mind would want to tuck into an oily-coated, horse poo-eating numbskull like me - but I reckon I'd be the centrepiece for the gala dinner.

It puts The Boss's cruel and inhumane treatment of me in perspective. Like, he can keep me waiting for dinner - reckons he 's got to work late just to feed me. That's a sick joke if ever I heard one. And sometimes I don't get breakfast until he's had his!

Anyway, the good news out of all this is the Chinese prefer dogs to cats. They eat 10 million  dogs and only 4 million cats. I've never had much time for cats myself so you can understand it - but it's nice to see my aversion to the feline species is widely shared by these discerning people.

But getting back to all due respect for me - and my brethren - in what is, after all, the Chinese Year of the Dog. This is pretty ugly, isn't it? Even if you prefer dogs to cats.

Can you imagine eating either one, really? I mean, I happen to know that dogs can be grubby animals.  They roll in cow pats, horse dung, dead sheep carcasses, Ibis poo dropping from the redgums, wallaby droppings and the disembowelled remains of bush rats and rabbits that even the fox doesn't deign to finish off. Not that I would do any of these things - but I know certain hounds (some of them close to me) that do.

So, if you don't like the idea of eating dogs either - perhaps on the grounds that they are certain to taste disgusting; or on the grounds that dogs like me are cute, loveable creatures possibly more enlightened than their owners; or simply on the grounds that The Year Of The Dog requires rather more decorum than this - you can make a donation to, or jump on to Twitter and express your finely-measured sense of horror at #StopYulin. 

And you can follow me @thebossesdog. Woof!