My inbox has been bristling with emails asking for advice on the Astra Zenica vaccine this past week, now that it has been opened up to the over-50s.
The over 50s are my natural constituency, of course: a dog owner needs to have been around a while to truly appreciate the outstanding attributes of me and my breed – and overlook what The Boss has often referred to as “drawbacks” or “less attractive habits.”
The dog owner with refined tastes and judgement admires the athlete like myself – a full-blooded hound with energy, enthusiasm for the task and unquestioned loyalty.
For this, he or she will readily overlook a “suit yourself” approach to obedience in the field and an affection for acquiring exotic scents, such as the entrails of a dismembered hare or a rotting sheep carcase.
But I digress. Here is the email that Dirk from Dargalong sent in:
Dear General
My Dad is over 80, so his chances of getting the clot are 200,000 to one. I am in the 50 – 70 age group and I am worried about that blood clot: for me, the chances come down to 100,000 to one.
That’s worse odds than being killed by lightning, which are 139,000 to one. What should I do?
Dirk
You’re a smart man, Dirk – you deserve to own a Chessie like me. I’d take my chances with the lightning if I were you… save you worrying about it.
On the other hand, if you don’t like the lightning idea – I reckon you’d smell better than a dead sheep once you were fried by lightning – you could be really brave and risk the vaccine.
I must say I have to get five shots every year, all at the same time, whereas you’re only talking about one shot. And my C5 costs The Boss more than a new kennel, which has stopped him from replacing the draughty, web-ridden hovel he expects me to sleep in. You just flash your government health card.
I didn’t like jabs at first. The Boss keeps reminding me that, of all my nine brothers and sisters, I was the only one to squeal and complain when the microchip went in. Rather than a sign of weakness, I have ascribed it to an early sensitivity and awareness that my siblings lacked entirely.
The Boss had his shot earlier this week and didn’t fall over. He was a bit slow out of the cot the next day, if you ask me but he remembered to take me on a walk and feed me, so nothing critical was affected.
He had a Pommy mate who caught the virus early last year – in your age group too, Dirk – who told The Boss he'd never felt worse, thought it was over and he was terribly crook for weeks. The Boss has heard a few stories like that and has been hanging out for it.
His mate reports that, out of the 34 million Brits vaccinated so far, 18 million have had the Astra Zenica model and seven people have died, although it is not certain that the vaccine caused those deaths.
So The Boss is running with it - and so am I. Woof!
Email The General at thebossesdog@gmail.com