We’re nearing the end of the nation’s favourite love-based, farming, multiple wives, awkward men dating show.
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Let’s all bow our heads as we begin to say goodbye to season 15 of Farmer Wants A Wife.
But for now, let’s continue to drag it through the mud.
What a week.
Corey made a dumb decision and then immediately asked if it was a dumb decision.
Thomas made a shocking decision and confessed his love to the only woman he has shown interest to.
Jack was also there and said things and did stuff or whatever.
Let’s check in on our inconsiderate lanky mass, Thomas.
In a move that literally everyone saw coming, he kicked the girls out and confessed his deep and undying love for Clarette.
A move that made the crowd go mild.
I’m 100 per cent sure he had to ask the producers the other girls’ names before giving them the boot.
He tried really hard to conjure up something romantic to say and turned to just telling her things she did.
“Clarette, when you walked into that room, my eyes just locked on you,” he said.
“You took my hand, and that really meant a lot to me.”
I could feel the heat of passion radiating off my computer screen.
Remember the creepy murder cabin? Turns out it’s not a people killer.
It’s a mood killer.
Apparently, Olivia and Jack have differing opinions on kids, with children being second to Olivia’s career, whereas Jack is set on having kids.
Another moment from the week that really made my skin crawl was Sarah’s confidence.
Again, it could be the edit, but I cannot think about it without wanting to shut my computer screen and go for a long walk.
She told Olivia and Hayley that she thought she had a better bond with Jack than anyone else.
“We have a stronger connection because we’ve had more of a romantic and physical bond,” she said.
She also said she’d be devastated if he kissed anyone else.
I have terrible news for her. By the end of the episode, she will be the only one he has not kissed.
And she’ll get dumped. On national TV.
In a super subtle, nonchalant way of saying, ‘I’ll kiss who I want, back off’, Jack said everyone should “focus on their connection with [him], not what’s going on around them”.
Imagine you are Farmer Corey for a second, and sum-up how I feel about you three women.
Jadee is more comfortable in farm life, you have a good connection and a solid one, she’s ready to move to the farm whenever you want.
Keeley is more of a city girl, you also have a good, solid connection, maybe even a slightly better one, but she needs months to move to the farm, and you do not like that.
Chloe comes across as super jealous and puts down the other women.
You have to get rid of one.
Spoiler alert, you get rid of the first option, Jadee.
The one who’s ready to move, fits in with the farm and is a downright stunner.
I mean, why? She seemed to be as confused as us, to be honest. It was one of the hardest goodbyes.
After Claire, of course.
Final decisions come next week, with Jack choosing between Olivia and Hayley and Corey between Keeley and Chloe.
As has become the recent trend, I cannot bring myself to like any of them enough to rank them.
None of them are coming off as great, they’re all just kind of there, being stupid men.
I hope both sides of their pillows are always a bit warm and it always feels like there’s a rock in their shoe.
Until next time.
Journalist