The Boss's Dog

Up yer nose, then....

By The General

I suppose you think these grass seeds look pretty and all – but I can tell you, they are no fun up your nose.

It’s a trap for a dog like me at this time of year.

My nose – as I have pointed out before – has an impressive 300 million olefactory receptors – as compared to your six million or so.

Which means my sense of smell is at least 40 times better than yours and provides me with just about everything I need to know – so much so that I rely on my nose more than my ears, or my eyes, in that order.

What happens is that some of the air I sniff in goes straight to my lungs and the rest winds its way over these clever bony bits in my nose that separate all kinds of interesting molecules that tells me more than you’ll ever know – or probably want to know.

And a gifted hunting dog like myself has slits in the side of its nose that the air can escape – while I’m still sniffing, continuously. Bet you didn’t know that!

Of course, sniffing continuously can get a grown dog into trouble in the late spring when there’s all these loose grass seeds floating around – some of them are called awns, with sharp prongs on the back so they don’t come out once they go in.

This what exactly what happened a few weeks back and there I was, back at the Vet’s again, with a bit of blood coming out my nose (I’ve given it my best shot trying to send it out the way it came in.)

Turns out I was successful, too, but the Boss didn’t know that and so I had to be quietened down a little since an A-type personality like myself doesn’t co-operate when probes are thrust up his snout. Particularly when he didn’t need it.

Anyway, they gave me a grease and oil change while I was there and they found one ear with a yeast infection from not flicking the water out after my morning swim - and the other had a tear in the ear-drum, so with a few extra drugs and a check-up the next week it left the Boss’s wallet a good deal lighter.

But hey – who needs a cheap dog? Woof.