The tourists, fresh from a 2-1 series win in Australia, albeit one that concluded in a huge 276-run defeat, knocked the runs off with seven wickets and 29.1 overs to spare, meaning the entire match lasted less than the 50 overs allotted for each innings.
It was a chastening debut for English tyro quick Sonny Baker, who followed a first-ball duck by being flayed for 56 off four overs opening the bowling, mostly scored by Aiden Markram. At the other end Jofra Archer's five overs cost eight runs.
Markram went on to make 86 off 55 balls before being one of three late wickets for Adil Rashid (3-26).
Baker returned for a marginally better second spell but despite regularly passing 140kph his seven overs cost 76, the most expensive ODI analysis by an England debutant.
That put talk of the 22-year-old being an Ashes bolter into perspective.
The defeat was England's 20th in 30 ODIs since the start of the World Cup in October 2023, with seven losses in the last ten.
The poor results are perhaps unsurprising given few of the players have a bedrock of 50-over experience to draw on. The domestic 50-over competition runs alongside the Hundred so none of England's leading white-ball players participate.
The squad had one pre-match training session, and that was severely depleted due to the conclusion of The Hundred at Lord's on Sunday, and it showed in a sloppy display.
England were reasonably well placed at 2-82 in the 14th over only for captain Harry Brook to be needlessly run out, leading to a collapse in which they lost their last seven wickets for 29 runs.
Only Jamie Smith, with 54 off 48 balls, passed 15. It was a welcome return to form for Smith whose batting tailed off sharply in the Test series with India, though in the one-day team his role is different with Jos Buttler keeping and Smith opening the batting.
England's innings lasted 24.3 overs - less than half of their allotted time.
Spinner Keshav Maharaj claimed 4-22 and Wiaan Mulder 3-33.
"It was not a great start to the series, just one of those bad days and we will move on as soon as possible," Brook said.
"Everyone will hold their hand up and say we had a bad day. We need to put that performance behind us now and get down to London."
The next match will be played at Lord's on Thursday
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