By Jacko, son of Col Curmudgeon
Spoiler alerts, whatever, you know how this works.
It’s not Love Island, but the second night of Farmer Wants a Wife just had to find a bit of drama.
Admittedly, it wasn’t a screamer. No passive-aggressive phrases, no storming out or vague threats at the competition.
Just one girl who found it all a bit overwhelming and who had to be excused from the all-in dinner.
Hairy Harry unsuccessfully tried to placate her but she was inconsolable.
You see, the second night featured the first on-farm experience for the five blokes ‘seeking love’ and their four candidates who have made the first cut.
Plenty of shots of feeding out the hay, chasing the cute farmyard animals and some lingering, summer evenings as they all sit down to a meal together.
Bu they were all pretty polite, just a few random, worrying quotes: “I’ve been married before so I know what works”, “My mum’s approval means a lot to me” and “I’m 34 years old and I am sick of apologising for what I want”.
Despite the opportunity to send someone home, only one bloke decided it wasn’t going to work, and Neil sent his fellow farmer, Chantelle, home because she was more of a friend than a love interest.
We couldn’t end the summary of the second night without remarking on the magic between Alex and Jess, who was credited with breaking the eight-year-old drought on Alex’s outback property.
He had the candles on the trestles in the shed where they had their first dinner together and the rain just seemed to fall on queue.
Aah — the rain, the passionate embrace, the silhouetted lightning, the windmills and the Hi-Lux. What more could a boy ask for?
His words, not mine.