What ignited the conversation was the Christmas spread put on by Nathalia Kennels, when 150 hounds, abandoned by their owners, were splendidly nourished by people who cared.
What gave it an edge, though, was the lingering thought that our humans preferred to indulge their appetites elsewhere, without us — so the table chatter soon veered onto the exemplary human follies we dogs noticed during 2025.
Barry the bloodhound liked the bloke in Memphis, who admitted back in March that he was shot by his dog while canoodling in bed with a lady friend. Jerald Kirkwood, 39, told police his one-year-old pit bull, Oreo, jumped on to the bed where his paw became stuck in the trigger guard of Kirkwood’s gun and shot him in the thigh.
When police arrived the lady had lit out with the gun, but the dog wasn’t saying anything.
Mollie the collie thought pop singer Katy Perry took the honours when she blasted off into space in Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin rocket, along with Jeff’s then fiancée Lauren Sanchez and a few other girls. They spent 10 minutes weightless together in the space module, and Katy crooned away “What a Wonderful World” before coming back to earth. After kissing the ground, she pointed at the module and said “I think that it’s not about me, it’s not about singing my songs, it's about a collective energy in there.”
“It’s about us, it’s about making space for future women.”
Derek the dachshund’s lip curled at that moment, and he reminded us that Lauren married Jeff a few months later when they booked out most of Venice for their three-day wedding, attended by the rich and powerful, who dropped in to Marco Polo Airport in 90 private jets.
Polly the poodle piped up that The Donald must take the cake — this was the year that the leader of the free world sprayed an Islamist fighter turned Syrian president with cologne and asked him how many wives he had. And the year that FIFA, whose main job is running international soccer tournaments, launched its own ‘Peace Prize’ and awarded it to — who else? — Donald Trump.
“We saw an avalanche of shameless bending the knee,’’ sniffed Roddy the Rottweiler. “What about the boss of NATO, Mark Rutte, calling him Daddy as he heaped praise on The Donald over the Israel-Iran ceasefire?”
Merve the mastiff said the prize should go to the Italian feller who survived for two days with a crossbow bolt embedded in his forehead. Doctors said if it had gone one millimetre further, he’d have died instantly.
Warwick the whippet preferred to award it to the Swedish dad who, urged on by his kids, stuffed 81 matches up his nose to win a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Fokker the cocker spaniel held a paw aloft for yet another leap forward in China: public restrooms that only dispense toilet paper after you scan in a QR code and watch an advertisement. “What happens if your phone dies?” the cocker chuckled.
Leon the Labrador flagged the Japanese startup that unveiled ‘RoboPaw’, a robot dog that can blink, bark in five languages and subscribe to its own monthly software updates.
“Meanwhile,” Leon grinned, “real dogs like us continue offering love, company and the occasional well-timed burp, all without needing a charging cable.”
He said that other tech genius, Elon Musk, who made 2025 all about him, introduced his ‘Neuralink for Pets’ experiment, which supposedly lets dogs send brain signals to humans. A few influencers volunteered their labradoodles — one apparently transmitted “chicken” 437 times in a row before short-circuiting the interface.
Altogether our dinner was a riot — and with this sneak peek into our cheery Christmas conversation, you don’t want to know what we really think, do you? Woof!
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