He would do exactly as he pleased – help himself to the pantry and the ‘fridge, prowl the river at any time of day or night, roll in every dead carp he found on the bank, destroy The Boss’s couch with nary a second’s thought and sleep where and whenever he wanted to.
In other words, he’d be the sort of dog I aspire to.
On the other hand, I’m not sure I’d want him in the kennel next to me. There’s a mean streak to him and I couldn’t be sure when he’d turn on me.
But ... he’d be entertaining for a while, that’s for sure. There’d be no other dog like him.
Over there in Iowa, where he won the Republican caucuses this week, an Arctic freeze had the state in its grip with temperatures around -20°F. Naturally, he was urging supporters to get out and vote for him anyway.
"You've got to get out — you can't sit home!" he said, “(even) if you're sick as a dog …even if you vote and then pass away, it’s worth it.”
And if you think that shows chutzpah, take a look at the weird video he recently shared on Truth Social, his social media feed, which appeared to proclaim him as God’s chosen emissary on earth — sent to deliver America back to prosperity.
It starts out with a solemn voice saying: ‘And on June 14th, 1946, God looked down on his planned paradise and said I need a caretaker’. So God gave us Trump. God said, “I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, fix this country, work all day, fight the Marxist, eat supper then go to the Oval Office and stay past midnight and meet the heads of state. So God made Trump.” And on it goes for nearly three minutes.
It's not the work ethic The Boss remembers The Donald displaying when he was in the White House but he’s being a bit picky. I mean, you can’t make this stuff up.
Back in November, The Donald was more like his old self: “We pledge to you that we will root out the communists, Marxists, fascists and the radical left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.”
And on immigration: “Nobody has ever seen anything like we’re witnessing right now … It’s poisoning the blood of our country.”
To The Boss’s mind, none of The Donald’s recent comments quite plumb the depths as did his comment about former presidential candidate Senator John McCain, who was tortured as a POW in Vietnam.
The Donald, who managed to escape the draft on medical grounds, said McCain “is not a war hero. He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”
Now he’s replacing insults with songs of vengeance. He told a Republican conference last March: “In 2016, I declared: I am your voice. Today, I add: I am your warrior. I am your justice. And for those who have been wronged and betrayed: I am your retribution.”
The Donald would be hard kennel company all right but he’s going to liven up the rest of the year. The Boss reckons there’s no motivation like a desperate need to stay out of jail — so we need to strap ourselves in for a wild ride. Woof!